Anxiously Awaiting...

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Book Chicka Wow Wow: A Bookish Porn Adventure II


This post contains material that is rated "Bookalicious!!" on the Extreme Readers' Reading Scale of Sexiness.

For mature and EXTREME reading audiences ONLY!

Brace yourself!!


Book Chicka Wow Wow: A Bookish Porn Adventure Part II

The adventure continues! Here's the exciting conclusion to last week's instalment!

When you last left us, I was being hauled off to a mental institution and many questions remained unanswered.Who reported me to the Institute for Mental Health when I am obviously not CRAZY!? Where did my parents go wrong? Well we can discard that last one because clearly, I'm fine and 100% Normal. And the question that plagued me the most: what will happen to my books while I'm gone?

Now that I have been released--under observation--I decided to prove to all those who doubt my sanity that I am NOT Crazy! So as soon as I was released--after making sure my books had not been disturbed during my absence, of course--I rushed to finish the work I started last week. What better way to prove I am in a stable mental condition! But I am unable to do so. Before I can start another book-porn photo shoot, I know I have to find out who was responsible for my internment. I have to find out who reported me! Desperate for answers I have decided to turn to some of the highest ranking members of my library. They have graciously agreed to oversee this investigation. Let us meet the special team:

Clockwork Prince (Infernal Devices Book2) 
Codename: The Heartbreaker

Clockwork Angel (Infernal Devices Book1)
Codename: The Instigator

Insurgent (Divergent 2)
Codename: The Bad-Ass

Codename: The Valiant 

Codename: The Finisher

Catching Fire
Codename: The Tormentor

The Hunger Games
Codename: The Ruthless

Together they make THE SEXY SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Sexy Seven are now prepared to make a formal accusation:

Meet the accused, who has decided to self-represent during the trial:

Angel Burn is accused of reporting me to the proper authorities. It appears that Angel Burn became bitter after not being permitted to join last week's sexy book-orgy and decided to take revenge on my person.

How does Angel Burn Plead?
"Not Guilty."

Not guilty, eh? Lets take a look at the evidence!
Last week Angel Burn performed a disappearing act during the Bookish Porn Escapades. Where did it go? Perhaps to make a phone call to a certain mental health facility!!! 
Exhibit B

Exhibit A

What do you have to say Angel Burn?
"This proves nothing!"
Is it Circumstantial evidence? Sure, but it still shows highly suspicious behavior!!!!!

The Sexy Seven Council will now deliberate.  
Angel Burn seems nervous!

Wait! There is a surprise witness!
This is a copy of Lois Duncan's They Never Came Home.
This is quite the development. What is it doing here? I must admit we have a history together. When I was in middle school, I used to read any and all Lois Duncan 's books I could get my hands on. I loved them! I got this one whe--...wait a second!
Is the girl on the cover making a phone call??!!
A phone call! That's the very crime that the accused is on trial for!
Looks like They Never Came Home is HOLDING The Smoking Gun!
Is it possible we have found our guilty party!?

They Never Came Home, do you have something to say?

"I did it!"

A confession! But why, They Never Came Home, why!?!?!

"Last week, I wasn't invited to the party! After everything we shared! After our long history! You dared to ignore me!!"

It wasn't like that at all!

"I don't care, I'd do it again!"

I never thought this would happen!
The Sexy Seven are now prepared to deliver judgement:

"Angel Burn is acquitted of all charges! They Never Came Home, you are guilty and are sentenced to a cover stomp!"

The Punishment.
If you are of a weak constitution look away!
(No books were harmed in the making of this post).


The business portion of this adventure has now come to a close!
 Now its time for the council to show us how they came to be know as the SEXY Seven!:

I have never laid eyes on a sexier sight! oh yeah!!!!!!!


Clockwork Prince is working its  magic! oh and look! Clockwork Angel is flashing its Bonus Content! Oh mama!

Insurgent and Divergent are trying out the Upside down book glider! Hot moves! 

The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and MockingJay = HOTTEST Threesome EVER!!!

My whole library is coming together to celebrate!
Things are about to get VERY steamy!
Well I guess I better go.
These book orgy parties are too wild for me!!

 Well I am glad everything has been solved! Looks like we will all be all right.

This is the end.

...or is it?

The Body Finder (Book1) by Kimberly Derting
Kill Me Softly by Sara Cross
seem to feel snubbed by the fact that they have yet to mentioned in this blog!

Calm down you two, I will review each of you in due time!

Let us hope that the promise of reviews will appease them!!!

May God have mercy on our souls!!

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